John with two red ears went to see his doctor. The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears.
"I was ironing a shirt when the phone rang. Instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear."
"Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief, "but.....what happened to your other ear?"
"The scoundrel called back."

A priest is walking down the street one day when he notices a small boy trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street.
However, the boy is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach.
After watching the kid's efforts for sometime, the priest moves closer to the boy's position.
He steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow and, placing his hand kindly on the child's shoulder, leans over and gives the doorbell a solid ring.
Crouching down to the child's level, the priest smiles benevolently and asks, "And now what, my little man?"
To which the boy replies, "Now we run!"

Three Guys, one smart, one average and one a bit dim, have begun a 40-mile hike home when they come upon a bush with an owl sitting on it. To their surprise, the owl speaks. "Weary travelers," he says, "I will give you each one wish."